Genuises

By Mike Simmons

Blake Leak (yep, that’s his name) was a genius – well, almost. He first decided to break into a liquor store one night in Ossining, New York. There wasn’t much money, but there was lots of booze. In the middle of the burglary, two officers arrived. Blake had to get out, but he was smart. He ran out of the building with both officers in pursuit. Being the genius he was, Blake thought he would hide until they gave up, so he ran into a large building nearby – Smart. But when the officer who was inside the building saw Blake, he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t used to keeping guys from coming in…he was used to keeping them from getting out. The building was the famous Sing-Sing prison in New York. Blake was taken into custody.

After careful consideration, two burglars in Silver Springs, Florida chose a house to break into. You could imagine their delight when they ran across three jars of cocaine on the mantle! Quickly, they took the haul back home and proceeded to snort to their heart’s content. Then, looking at the jars, the outlaws noticed the names on each of them – Roger, Spike, and Rover. The men needed medical attention when they found out that they had been snorting the cremains of Roger, Spike, and Rover, the owner’s dead husband and two dogs.

The morning coffee shop. We have all seen it – groggy people waiting in line. Most of the people are waiting for their morning cup to wake them up. But some people see more than others. Some don’t notice things at all – like two police officers in full uniform, also waiting in line. He rushed into the store and cut in front of the two officers, demanding all of their money. The two officers looked at each other, shrugged and put the rocket scientist in jail.

Mike Simmons